It’s been a very long time since I wrote a love letter to my wife. Next month we will mark our 28th wedding anniversary, and 33 years since we met each other. We started going together as boyfriend/girlfriend when we were 16 years old, and I sincerely love her more and more every single day. I am honestly the man I am today because of her. She is the reason I am the husband I am, the father that I am, and the grandfather that I am.
Cindy, I will never forget meeting you for the first time, when you stopped in at my parents farm. You know that I have to mention that pink shirt, right? You were and remain to be so pretty. I could not figure out for the life of me why you were interested in me. I was just an ordinary 16 year old boy with no real life aspirations, or at least ones that I could afford. I so desperately wanted to go to college after school, but for whatever reason it was not meant to be. I remember your sister being with you, and you driving the 1973 Chevy pickup, and I was impressed that it was a 3 speed on the floor and you were driving it! I thought wow, this just keeps getting better. You were dressed in Levi’s and a polo, and I have absolutely no idea what your sister was wearing, nor did I care. I was mesmerized on you and time stood still.
I remember bringing you into the house so that I could show you my graduation proofs and introduce you to my mother, and that after you left my mother telling me that you were ‘very pretty”. I of course pretended that I hadn’t noticed and shrugged it off. You started writing to me and I didn’t get back to you quick enough, so you sent me a postcard that read; “It’s your turn to write” with a smiley face. So, I sat down one evening and wrote back to you, and I remember the feeling of anticipating another letter in the mail from you. I absolutely loved getting your letters and remember the excitement in me as I checked the mailbox every day. The letter writing continued right up till I entered the Navy and you started college.
The first few weeks of Boot Camp was the roughest on me as I was not allowed mail. But once we were able to get and give mail and packages, it was a daily thing for me to sit and write to you. I received packages of homemade cookies, but it escapes me as to who sent them. I;m guessing it was either you or my mom.
At this point we have been writing for around three years and our love for each other continued to grow every single day. We often talked about our future together and what it would be like to finally be married. If you remember correctly I didn’t ask you to marry me, it was just assumed that we would one day marry. I remember you coming to visit me in Philadelphia and the night we stayed in a hotel and talked all night long. We had to share a bathroom with another room and we were freaked out by that. The next day I was able to bring you on base and show you around a little bit, and then hiding you in my room while I went to work. The whole dorm knew that you were there and they moved you from room to room while room inspections were being done. Thinking back on it now, it still makes me smile. I loved being able to show you off to all my buddies and loved it when you drew so many stares from them. I guess I too was still having a hard time understanding why you would want anything to do with an ordinary guy like me, but I am sure glad you did.
Today, after 33 years together, my love for you has only grown deeper. I know that we have had bumps in the road, and that this last journey that we will be sharing together is going to be rough. One thing is for certain, I will remain to be your number one fan for all of my days, even when I am not able to communicate it. You are the reason I get up each morning to do it all over again. The only thing that I wish I could give you, is more time, and I know that is not possible.
I want you to know that the day that I met you, I fell in love with you. I didn’t grow to love you, I grew to love you even more. I need you to know that despite our ups and downs I have never once thought that I was unhappy with you. I look forward to my summer with you and look forward to camping like we used to. I am excited to go on adventures with you and the girls. I really need you to always know that as I become less understanding I am still going to be me. I will always love you, even when I can’t tell you. I pray that I don’t become someone that you do not know, or care to be with, but know that it is a very real possibility. I want you to know that when I am gone, I will still be surrounding you with the trees and shrubs that I have planted over the years. I will be in the first flowers that bloom in the spring, and in all of the berries and fruits that you will harvest every summer and fall. I want you get to the point where you can smile in the promise that we will be reunited again.
I love you babycakes! I know that you will start to notice more of what is yet to come for us, but please be patient with me and know that I will not mean to be mean. I will not mean to not remember your birthdays or our anniversaries, because in my heart I really will know. Please understand now, that I love you now and forever. This disease is going to take over my thoughts, my speech and vocabulary, and my eyes, as to how I see and view things. However, the one thing this disease cannot take from me is my memories. The memories are going to be locked in my heart forever and even though I won’t be able to show it, please know that they are there. This is going to be our hardest trial ever baby, and I promise that I will give you one hundred percent of my effort in making this an easy transition that we do together. I don’t want you to ever feel alone, and I so desperately need you to know that I will always be in your heart, and no one can take that away.
I fell in love with you 33 years ago, I have loved you through our 28 years of marriage, and I will love you into eternity.