As I look out across the mountains this morning I can’t help but think about the smiles that all of us will bring to someone today. They may be very subtle, but certainly direct. Not all of us will understand the significance that they bring, but to those they are directed at, they will speak volumes. It’s interesting to me how a few simple words can completely change your mindset. Three of the most sincere words ever spoken, are also three of the most powerful. I love you.
We all long to hear these words. Some of us hear them on a daily basis, while others takes an act of Congress to hear a faint mumble. These three words can literally make or break a person. We all need to hear them, and more importantly we all need to believe them. Relationships take time. Relationships require lots and lots of hard work, determination, and a genuine desire to please the other person in that relationship. Just because I have dementia, it doesn’t mean that I can no longer do my own thinking. That will come, but I am not there yet. As I continue my quest to raise money for home heating oil and propane for the winter months ahead I am grateful for the mild fall that we have had so far. As I continue to give all my fears to God every morning, I struggle with the need that I have in the first place. I don’t like needing help, but the fact is I do. I have always prided myself on the idea that I can take care of my family, but now find myself not being able to. It is what it is and I have to learn to accept it.
Please know that I am merely speaking from my heart and hold no degree to back up my thoughts. I don’t have special training where I can pull information from different text books or authors. I am a very simple minded guy with a heart. A heart that has belonged to the same wife for almost 28 years. A heart that has beat through rough waters more than once, but has always managed to survive the storm with a very solid foundation and an even stronger anchor that has always held. God has never let me down, not even for a second.
To me, it doesn’t matter if your relationship is with a guy or a girl and it doesn’t matter if your a guy or girl. It doesn’t matter to me because it’s not about me. I dream of a place in which people are not judged. A place that requires no explanation and merits no criticism. A place that allows people to be who they are and makes them proud of who they are. I always put one of my children in the shoes of the one in turmoil and try to imagine what it is that they may be going through. This is not an easy thing to do and sometimes by simply portraying the situation, it can literally change my attitude. None of us can completely understand what another person is going through, or what they are thinking. Each one of has a unique set of circumstances that is unlike another persons. That is the way it’s supposed to be. In order for you to show your true colors you need to be happy with and where you are in life. We have to accept the person that we have become, and learn to fine tune ourselves so that the colors in our rainbow become more vibrant as time passes by. Remember, you are already a beacon of hope to those around you. What we need to work on is becoming so bright that others will ask you how they too, can be more like you.
Over the past week I have experienced first hand the steps that have been taken in an attempt to polish my path, my rainbow. My at home nurses have been great, visitors continue to help me put another coat of wax on and my on-line friends have been just what I need every day. I look forward to hopefully being able to help others in need some day and pay it forward, something that I think we all secretly hope to do sometime in our lifetime.